Shades of Green

 It's not always so easy as it looks! Before I had my baby, I thought breastfeeding was super easy. I never really saw the nitty-gritties, the loud ear-aching cries, the sleepless nights, all the craziness! All I saw was moms handling babies like a pro, walking into a feeding room and coming back just as happy in a matter of few minutes. My breastfeeding journey was hard. Yesterday night, once again, my baby took me back to the crazy memories of my first two months learning to breastfeed my baby. Upon googling I learnt that what happened yesterday is also called as a 'nursing strike' or 'breast refusal.'  I delivered my tiny feet on 2nd April 2023, exactly on the same day as my birthday. I know it's so wow. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have a baby on my birthday! But he's here now in this beautiful little world.  Everything in my world has changed ever since he came into my life. Before my delivery, I thought I would lose my physical appearan...

One lovely serene morning, daylight filled the skies, the moon big and round, yet to sink into the earth's uncertainty; I and my husband decided to take a walk. We woke up late than usual during the past few weeks, which was also one reason why he seldom took me for walks along with him.  Well, today I was adamant! I felt unfit working at my nine to six job with no physical activity. I needed an endorphin rush that I knew I would get from the walk. And so I went.  The paddy fields were lush green from all the recently sowed grains. White storks scattered around the field probably feeding on the earthworms. The cold air brushed against our hair as we made rapid strides. Sweat trickled down our chests and legs, that made our garments stick to the skin.  I wasn't able to keep pace with my husband so well as I used to. I cursed myself for missing those morning walks, slightly jealous of my husband who was working out at the gym, playing badminton, and also brisk-walking every...

"Don't give up, even if the path seems narrow" Every woman deserves just as many rights as a man does. When I first got into the corporate world, landing my first job after university, I was happy beyond words.  One month into the job, I realized I was being paid lesser than I deserved. I came to senses on the fact that I could have negotiated for an increase in my pay. But, what pulled me back then from even thinking about a negotiation? When I paid exactly the same fee for a degree in the University as every male counterpart of mine did, what possibly could have made me refrain from a salary negotiation?  I was highly unaware of this widely prevalent gender gap that still exists until I came across Sheryl Sandberg's TEDx talk show on YouTube.  "The phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name - the impostor syndrome" She writes about the reason why women consistently underestimate themselves and that in moments when men judge their p...

My thoughts have since always and forever bothered me. I never realized the kind of impact my thoughts had on my life until I came across a few books that helped me realize it. Have you noticed how we self-sabotage ourselves most of the time. Accepting everything else around us seems possible, except us. We tend to always place our failures on billboards and our achievements in small bits of paper, folded and hidden somewhere.  When we were little children, we always did things which made us happy. We loved ourselves naturally. But then as we grew up, we were taught to put others before us because self-love equaled selfishness. That led us to completely ignoring anything we did for us and prioritizing everything we did for others.  Over time, we started to find solace in other people's approval of us. Any time we got reprimanded for something we did, especially by the ones we loved, we were sent straight to gloom. If we were good today, tomorrow we were nothing but trash. Okay...