BLOG POST 23: How our thoughts rule our lives?

My thoughts have since always and forever bothered me. I never realized the kind of impact my thoughts had on my life until I came across a few books that helped me realize it.

Have you noticed how we self-sabotage ourselves most of the time. Accepting everything else around us seems possible, except us. We tend to always place our failures on billboards and our achievements in small bits of paper, folded and hidden somewhere. 

When we were little children, we always did things which made us happy. We loved ourselves naturally. But then as we grew up, we were taught to put others before us because self-love equaled selfishness. That led us to completely ignoring anything we did for us and prioritizing everything we did for others. 

Over time, we started to find solace in other people's approval of us. Any time we got reprimanded for something we did, especially by the ones we loved, we were sent straight to gloom. If we were good today, tomorrow we were nothing but trash.

Okay. If you've resonated with these lines, then let's heal ourselves together. You're not alone in this. Every human being has been through the same. Strangely, life doesn't come with a manual. We've got to figure it all out ourselves, by stumbling upon these hints that finally bring us to the treasure trove.  

Right now you're reading this because a part of you has always been in the search for guidance. You're probably tired, fed up, irritated, angry because nothing seems to be moving right. You don't feel good no matter where you are. 

Bring your life back into track by aligning your thoughts the right way. 'You can heal your life' by Louise Hay was a great read that prompted me to watch the movie version of it too. I feel that the message this book has tried to convey is very similar to 'The Secret' by Rhonda Bryne. But, Louise projects the whole concept in a much easy-to-understand and grasp way.

Like I mentioned with example previously, if there's one thing many of us are wasting our precious lives on - it is in trying to win the approval of others. It's high time we put an end to this. By striking out just this one belief or concept, we can probably manage to bring 80 percent of our life back on track. 

Seek Nobody's Approval - You don't need to win anybody's approval. Trying to win others approvals will always make us feel worthless and not enough. Be it your friend, your teacher, your manager, your colleague, your parents, or anyone else that matters to you. You don't need to seek anybody's approval. 

Just like you were when you were a child, start loving yourself again. Start prioritizing yourself once again. Start talking to yourself and understand what you really need. Follow what your inside tries to tell you. You were born unique and you have your own kind of identity. You are not selfish when you love yourself. In fact, you naturally start to love and accept others when you love and accept yourself.

Now, try recalling an incident you are still so embarrassed about. Something that makes you feel you still cannot believe you did that. Were you aiming on infliction of hurt or pain on another person? Or was it actually with a positive intent which people around you misjudged to be of negative intent? 

Everything you ever did, even if people misinterpreted you, were always good intentions. Imagine this situation: You bent down to pick up an old woman's glasses but your head hits her head because she half-way bends to pick up the same glasses, and finally she ends up with a bruise on her forehead. Then instead of the smile you had been expecting, she gives you an annoyed and vexed-up look, and you end up even more vexed-up with your decision of going to help her in the first place. You see, most things in life end up like this little incident. Your intentions good; but results bad!

There might have been times when you meant a joke, but then the ones around you took it to be a really mean comment. "How could you say that to her!", they ask. You can only feel blood rushing into your cheeks, wishing if you could just melt into nothingness.  

It happened once, and might have happened again and again and again. But I'm here to tell you it's okay. NOBODY who is alive and exists today is guilt-free of the mistakes they've committed in their lives. When you made a comment welcomed by none, or did an act no one approved; remember that you did the best you could at that time with the resources you had. Now you know and you learnt from them. So it's time we stop giving solace to those embarrassments in our lives anymore.

Holding on to our errors and mistakes from the past, and not acknowledging them; will pull us back from growing as an individual. We are humans and we will keep committing mistakes. Now, allow yourselves to release the past. 

Let go...

No one knows you more than you do. Only you know how a friend's act or a relative's act is making you feel. But has holding on to these hurts brought you any good? Are you happy this way or do you still find yourself spending days loathing yourself for the way you were created and for the situations you were born in?

If it is only you that knows you, then only you can help you. Isn't it? 

Now just let go... Take a deep breath in and then breathe out. You are perfect the way you are, __(your name)__.

Say it to yourself. Affirm yourself. "I am perfect the way I am. This universe and all its beings accept me the way I am. I am loved. I feel loved." Say it until you feel the love flowing in and out of you. 

Say it every day, until nobody's words or comments or judgements hurt you anymore. Because in this entire universe, you are there to fend for yourself. Your soul need not feel alone because you talk to it and it talks back to you. Now you've won an everlasting friend that will stay with you through thick and thin.

Even if the entire world sucks, your soul friend is always there just beside you.

Stop giving any shit about your appearances: Whenever I am in a public space, I am always more conscious about how appealing I look to people, rather than the beauty of every entity around me. I would hate the way I talked or presented myself. 

Judgements are everywhere. Like Sandy Woznicki said in one of her blogs, you could be standing on a podium giving a speech. 10 percent of people are going to love your speech because you remind them of someone special. Another 40 percent may be in their own world not paying any attention to what you said. The remaining 50 percent just hate you, the way you speak, the way you've dressed up, you hair, literally everything they can think of.

We cannot please everyone. But you definitely do make an impact on some lives. You've got to fight each battle for those few lives looking up to you.

So what if you can't please everyone? Everyone's busy living and we all commit mistakes. I've stopped worrying about how my hair looks, or how my dress looks, or how good I sound. Although worry hasn't left me completely, I feel good to be trying. You too can feel good from today. Don't hold yourself back when you feel there is something that has to be said. You have all rights too. This is your world. Don't allow your past mistakes or embarrassments stop you from being who you are. Embrace yourself. 

In fact, every human being sitting next to you thinks just the way you think. Everyone wants to be acknowledged and is continuously in the hunt for love in this world. You're lucky - sorry 'the luckiest' - if you've found this love inside you. 

If you've enjoyed reading, please do give me your comments below and don't forget to subscribe. Maybe, I could regularly recharge your soul with some positive vibes. 

Thank you and have a nice day!!!