BLOG POST 24: The top 3 lessons I learnt from Sheryl's book 'Lean In'
"Don't give up, even if the path seems narrow"
Every woman deserves just as many rights as a man does. When I first got into the corporate world, landing my first job after university, I was happy beyond words.
One month into the job, I realized I was being paid lesser than I deserved. I came to senses on the fact that I could have negotiated for an increase in my pay. But, what pulled me back then from even thinking about a negotiation?
When I paid exactly the same fee for a degree in the University as every male counterpart of mine did, what possibly could have made me refrain from a salary negotiation?
I was highly unaware of this widely prevalent gender gap that still exists until I came across Sheryl Sandberg's TEDx talk show on YouTube.
"The phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name - the impostor syndrome"
She writes about the reason why women consistently underestimate themselves and that in moments when men judge their performance better than it usually is, women judge their performance worse than it actually is.
I was intrigued by the truth blurted out plainly in her book. But I wanted to know why this was happening. What could possibly be the reason for women underestimating their performance?
Working on this blog led me to the discovery of the answer. An article in The Atlantic talks about The Confidence Gap that separates genders.
"Compared with men, women don’t consider themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities. This disparity stems from factors ranging from upbringing to biology."
So, can anything be done about this disparity that stems from our upbringing?
Sheryl writes that in order to continue to grow and challenge ourselves as women, we have to believe in our own abilities. We need to learn how to sit at the table and not at a corner of the room.
Women are still missing from top jobs in politics, law, civil services, professional, sports, media. India has the third lowest global representation of women managers. In 2019, women held only 8% of management roles, 9% of business management roles, and only 2% of CEO roles.
As little girls, our dreams commensurate with that of boys our age. We dream of making the world a better place. We dream of careers that attune with our individualistic wants and needs.
But then, why do women draw themselves back from pursuing more, at a certain point, while men thrive with the same vigour and excitement they had as a little child? Why do women always make choices based on stability, while men chase their dreams?
An assumed reason put forth by Sheryl is that, we as women are consumed by self-doubt and fear.
Fear of huge commitments we may fail to handle well. Many times, when there's a promotion or a salary hike, women are usually the first to back out or consider themselves undeserving. Women are taught from a very young age that it's their responsibility to ensure her family doesn't fall apart or to sacrifice her desires if it's for the betterment of everyone else in the family.
What I loved about Sheryl's book is that she does not just lay out the problems, but instead lays the solutions across. 'Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead' is a mix of Sheryl's own life examples and her own inferences from them accompanied by statistics.
Here are the top three lessons I've gathered from the book:
- Stop backing down from professional growth: You shouldn't be sacrificing your promotions or the travel opportunity you've been dreaming of all your life, just because you fear marriage and pregnancy. They should instead be the last reason on your list for backing down. Keep your foot pressing down on the gas pedal until you know you just can't take it any further.
- Stop looking for stability: As little girls, we dreamt of accomplishing the impossible. Then why do we stop chasing them as adults? Consider our careers as jungle gyms and not ladders. Settle where you feel is right for you, and still don't settle. Learn, take leaps, and grow.
- Your passion is your top priority: The more passionate a woman is about the job she's doing, the higher the chances she comes back to her desk soon after her maternity break. Biological implications do not inhibit a woman, rather they are the reason for her higher productivity at work.
This stand-up by Harishankar is hilarious and at the same time a heart-wrenching narration. He talks about his mom who could possibly have been a national level chess player but stays back to hold her family together.
Reading Sheryl's book has awakened me on the limitations I have imposed upon myself as a woman. I could have spread my wings wider, had I not underestimated my abilities and potential. But I can still do something about this and it's never too late.
Nothing works more than believing in yourself and accepting the past. If my blog has invoked some curiosity in you and now you really wanna read this book, then go ahead and grab a copy of 'Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead' - you won't regret.
Or you can even watch her talk on TEDx.
Thanks for reading and do leave your comments if this has made an impact on you. Your comments will motivate me to read more books and share my thoughts on the best ones I come across.
Have a great day!!
