BLOG POST 15: My review on the book - 'The Book of Forgiving' by Desmond Tuttu
Dear Readers,
I have been reading for a major portion of the day and have shared with you things I felt like we all should know. The reason why I chose to read 'The Book of Forgiving' by Desmond Tuttu is because that was the need of the moment for me. To anyone reading this, who is finding it difficult to cope with any relationship in your life, I just want you to know that you are not alone.
We always keep having rivals, people who are jealous of us the way we are, people who just cannot accept us as we are and it's impossible to not have different opinions with such people. Sometimes our rival can cross the limits and bring us great loss which will be so hard to forgive. But what I want you to know is that hating that person is going to give them the power over our thoughts, our sleep, our appetite, our health and our happiness. This book has taught me that rather than carrying the burden of our enemies hate, it's better we forgive and let go of anything associated with them. Forgiveness just does not happen when we think to ourselves; I've forgiven him/her. It is a process. A process that takes time and investment. In order to forgive someone, we have to be able to tell our story a number of times until we are completely healed, until it hurts no more. If we have no one we trust to tell our hurt to, then writing a letter should do the work.
Stooping down to someone you know is wrong in order to ask for forgiveness is again a hurtful process. Hence, it is understood well that granting forgiveness will take time. In the end, all that we require is to free our mind from the captivity of guilt and frustration.
Desmond Tuttu tells us that the biggest reason why we are hurt is because our emotional intelligence came way before our intellectual capacity. We process what we feel in our heart before we can even analyse it in our brain. And hence the first reaction to anything is what our heart tells us. It's not our fault. We have been trained this way right from birth. We cry first when we are hurt with a slap or fall. It's the same that applies here. Our brains need some time to put our emotions into the right words.
This book has helped me in the process of healing. Maybe I might forget what I learnt from this book in the long run but I know now that I can always run back to this book when I am in need of assistance. I recommend this book to anyone who just can't forgive someone.
Love your enemies
Bless them that curse you
Do good to them that hate you
Pray for them that despitefully use you
and persecute you.
