BLOG POST 20: Some choices are pre-decided
Hi Readers,
In my previous blog, I talked about the choices we have to make in life when we arrive at a juncture: Stand by what you choose
That made me think about those choices we play no part in, those choices which have been pre-decided for us. Our curly hair, plump face, skinny hands, dark skin, narrow eyes, an imprisoned parent, a lost child, an amputated leg, and so much more. Do we get a choice to make about this? Can we change it even if we want to?
I had a really good friend who was on the heavier side. She was obese from a very young age, was diagnosed with diabetes when she was just ten, had PCOS when she turned fifteen, encountered facial hair growth when she was too young to even understand it. She shares her story oftentimes with disappointment as she recalls the many pleasures she was denied of which other kids of her age were bestowed with. Did she have a choice?
A great majority of us keep narrowing our focus onto the drawbacks we have. "I hate my curly hair", "I hate that my smile looks crooked", "Why is my nose so small?", "Why is my nose too big?", "Why am I so awkward in public?", "I wish I wasn't so fat"
The point I'm trying to make here is that we've all been highlighting just the small dots we have in our lives and then we just keep looking at them, that they slowly start to magnify, and then seem like the only problem that exists in our lives.
Let me be frank here. Some of the concerns I've written above were my very own concerns about my body. Thinking about them never helped me. Rather, those thoughts just left me in more gloom and worry. But, I'll tell you what, you and I are not alone in this. Whomsoever we've been describing and setting aside as the epitome of a perfect life, they too have their own kind of problems.
I guess it's the circle we are inside that opens doors to such negative thoughts. With Instagram these days, photos of celebrities and many of our friends are just perfect, we cannot stop ourselves but think "I wish I could look like them!"
Why don't we shift our focus for some time?
We've got to close this stinky hole emanating these useless thoughts and feelings inside our mind. Yes! close it tight with a metal lid and make sure it never opens again. From today, remind yourself that your defects are not what defines you. It's only when you exaggerate them with your thoughts that they become your definition.
If you have a gap between your teeth or a squint eye, the first reaction of anybody would be to judge you based on that. No doubt about that. But if you don't let those features of yours stand out by lamenting and disapproving them yourself - you create a new door for yourself there. What's there is always going to be there. You cannot change that. But, you can definitely look towards the good in you.
Guys! it's really time to focus on what you are good at - what you can do so well that some others around you cannot. Contribute your best you can to this world. If you are curly-haired, maybe you could be an inspiration to many other curly-haired girls to embrace their hair type. That reminds me, until a few years back, curly hair was such an abandoned hair type. People loathed it. Salons and advertisements taught that curly hair wasn't normal. Just some time ago, thanks to really beautiful-hearted YouTubers and bloggers, curly hair is now the trend. It has become an obsession for so many, that even straight-haired people want their hair curled.
So that's that. We just need one person that can make a difference. Love yourself! Accept yourself!
I'll end by sharing the link to the speech of a very beautiful lady - Muniba Mazari. She's known as the iron lady of Pakistan. She lost a lot and yet had the courage to come out of it all. She is the first disabled woman in India to feature magazine covers and advertisements.
Click to watch the video: We are all Perfectly Imperfect
