BLOG POST 17: The Practicing Mind - Thomas M. Sterner

Dear Readers,

Has it ever come across you that when you were really small, you might have had so-and-so goals in mind, like becoming a doctor when you grow up or to talk like someone whom you really admired or to study in a particular university or to make something really praiseworthy. And then, you just passed by those milestones without even realising they were once upon a time the dreams of that little child inside you. 

Your goals just keep drifting further away from you the closer you get to it. What might once have been the biggest dream of your life may now be just a tiny memory of your past today. 

I've written mission statements and made it to them but reminisced they were my mission statements only when I saw those written notes again.

This book by Thomas M. Sterner is worth reading. If you've ever been lost in the fog of reaching your goals, only to realise that those goals just keep moving further and further away from you, then this book is your helping-hand.

According to the author, to practice and to learn are two completely different concepts. 'Practice' involves one's awareness and the will to do it, whereas 'learning' does not. 'Practice' encompasses learning but not the other way round. So when we say good practice, it means deliberately and intentionally staying in the process of doing something and being aware of whether we are accomplishing that. This also means to "let go of our attachment to the product"

When you focus only on the process, the desired product comes to us with fluid ease. Instead, when you focus on the product, you begin to experience boredom, restlessness, impatience and frustration in the process. The reason behind this is that when you focus on the process, you are in the present relishing what you are doing. Your energy is focused on where and what you are. You are continually aware of what you are doing and so you begin to feel calm and at ease. You experience more control and your mind slows down to think of only one thing at a time. Now, you achieve this constant positive reinforcement of reaching your goal over and over again. And, that makes it easier to move towards the product.

The reason why many of us don't feel satisfied with our achievements is that we've not invested much time and energy into the process. If what you have now, came into your hands with a lot of hardships, persistence and rejection, maybe then that product might have its own kind of worth or value. What sweats us out, what deprives us, what really takes our energy is what we cherish the most.

Yoga is a form of practice that relaxes our mind, body and soul. Each posture we make it to in yoga has a different value to each one of us. To some, what may have come with just two hours of practice is to others what they achieve with five months of practice. I've always wanted to do the headstand (Sirsasana). Initially, my focus was directed to achieving the headstand posture. And when I couldn't do it I gave up easily. I left yoga thinking that it isn't going to work out for me and that yoga is for people who start at a very young age. Fortunately, my friend pulled me back into practice through her beautiful letters. I began practising again and this time my goal wasn't the Sirsasana. I wanted to be able to touch my feet with my hands (Padahastasana). I wanted balance. I wanted to clear my mind when I was on that mat. This time the goals I set were smaller. And that did the magic. 

I realised that once I was able to do the Padahastasana, my legs felt stronger and probably working on my balance and control too helped. I had finally achieved my goal of doing Sirsasana and now I'm working on perfecting the posture. 

                           

Like I said before, what we invest more effort into is what we cherish the most. Sometimes, it's also necessary that, to make it to a particular goal you've got to wipe it away from your mind for some time. Like, when I stopped thinking about achieving the headstand and focused on smaller achievements, my body knew when I was ready to take up the headstand. My mind and soul found its own way of conveying to me that I was ready for it. 

When we are small, we think things will be better when we reach college. At college, we feel it might be better when we are settled with a job and family. Once the job is ready and we are in the family platter, we think of retiring and relaxing soon. And then, when we retire ageing gets hold of us. This is something that every writer or experienced person keeps repeating. Although, we do not want it that way - things just seem to be that way.

Thomas Sterner beautifully describes nature to relate to what I just wrote now. He asks, "At what stage of life is a flower perfect? When it's a seed tightly enclosed beneath the soil? Or when it makes its first entry into the outside world and the first ray of sunlight falls upon it? Or when the flower forms and everyone stands in awe of its beauty? Or when it gracefully withers and falls back into the soil?" 

   

                                                        

Frankly speaking, every stage of it is beautiful. If you can relate this flower to your own life, you've been growing at your own pace. Unfortunately, in a continuous rat-race to do better than others, you don't even realise what you have already achieved. He writes, "That's the beauty of nature, it doesn't have an ego to cope up with"

Like the flower, slow down your pace. Sit back and relax. Now look back and run through what you've achieved in these years. You have literally made it to 80% of your dreams but never did an introspection. Hence, you kept setting higher goals and always felt unsatisfied with yourself.

I believe that a man's biggest success lies in his ability to see his own achievements even at his lowest points. Like the flower, we've been growing gracefully at the right pace and we've been perfect at all stages of our life.