BLOG POST 10: Madness beyond Bounds
'I am not different.
My reality is just different
compared to yours.'
Schizophrenia is a reality.
Today I would like to steal some time from y'all to share with you bits and pieces I have learnt about this condition. Schizophrenia occurs when a mood enhancer chemical aka Dopamine increases beyond the normal level inside the brain and causes the victim to interpret reality abnormally. For example, they may feel someone is always following them and trying to attack them. They live their lives in constant fear of the unknown. This severely affects their day to day lives and relationships.
I was witness to one such case of Schizophrenia in a woman of 70 years at our hospital. She held suspicions over her husband claiming that he would do black magic on her and wished for her speedy death. She would request the doctor treating her to take her away from this man and allow her to stay at an old age home where she would feel safer. This patient had been at the psychiatry ward for over a month and all this time her husband, a naïve old man with neatly combed grey hair, thick round glasses and a wrinkled forehead which was evidence to all the turmoil he was going through took care of her needs in the hospital. Every time his wife complained about her husband, he would keep a hand over his forehead indicating his obliviousness to his wife's claims. But all those forty days in the psychiatry ward, he would come along with his wife just to know if his wife's condition had improved.
Not being a victim of this condition myself, I would wonder how this husband could tolerate what his wife was telling about him. I could feel my brains trying to squeeze it's way out of my skull after 10 minutes of her nagging. Every single day she repeated the same story and didn't show any improvement. The doctor would tell her to stop suspecting her husband and that they have requested him not to tell anything bad anymore to her. But she just wouldn't trust him.
I was once walking to class after lunch and at the entrance of our hospital they have a big idol of Lord Ganesha. Here, I saw this dejected elderly husband sitting on the floor, his legs crossed, hanging his head down and lost in thoughts. I could see the agony on his face. In spite of all, he held a strong temperament in front of his wife and everybody else.
The MRI proved that a part of this woman's brain was affected and the strange thoughts she had weren't her fault.
How bad can our brains be? When we see what others can't see, feel what other's can't feel, what else could be worse than this?
I have had dreams of me being schizophrenic and I can tell you 'THIS IS SCARY!!!". I would see dreams of me being chased by a monstrous creature and when I cried to tell someone, they just wouldn't believe me! I woke up crying and praying that it just be a dream. Imagine the victim who's always trying to wake herself or himself up, but finally registers that this is their reality. Trapped in a world they cannot escape from, they cry by themselves all alone. We harbour the most healthiest minds and can never feel the plight of these victims.
Elyn Saks, an American Professor of Law, Psychology and Psychiatry (personally a victim to schizophrenia) has explained this condition with just the right words;
"I like to say Schizophrenia is like a waking nightmare"
I hope this has helped you connect with this condition a slight bit at least. Spread love to everyone around you. We do not know what each one around us is going through.
Click here to read about The power of words
